Tag Archives: Rants and Raves

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A Little Too Curious

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Hello.

My name is Allie and I am a proud survivor of Danielle‘s bachelorette party.

I am so glad I was able to help celebrate my dear friend’s journey from single lady to married woman this weekend in Washington DC.

One lingerie shower at a time. 

  Shopping for frilly underthings for yourself is always fun.

However, I experienced my normal gift giving anxiety an unexpected emotional platitude when it came time to find an appropriate gift for the sexy-underwear themed shower.

What if i show up with an S&M leather corset and the other girls bought her footie pajamas?! Or if I pick out a pretty, granny-chic nightgown and the rest of the bridal party channeled Agent Provocateur naughtiness?!

So I decided to personalize my own set of underwear.

I picked out a coordinating colorway of pretty little panties that matched Danielle’s aesthetic, wedding colors and motifs. Gap Body provided a nice variety of styles and cuts at a great price. I love their lingerie because it is simple but has great little details- perfect for monogramming! I even found a pair featuring tiny birds – a prominent aspect of her wedding theme.

It would have been a magical experience had the shop assistant not asked me why I was picking out so many pairs of XS underwear and directed me to my ol’ trusty size Medium bucket. Rude.

The Embroidery Place really saved the day when it came to customizing my gift for the lingerie shower. Not only did the gentleman on West 30th Street spend over an hour helping me decide on the monograms and personalizations but he finished my embroidery job within 24 hours, a day earlier than expected!

It all could have gotten a bit too curious there (Umm, do you mind embroidering this wedding date on the crotch of these sheer panties?!) but in the end, it turned out lovely!

And now that I’ve finally found a reliable embroidery shop in NYC, the world should probably prepare itself.

“What Jackson? You didn’t want all of your earthly possessions monogrammed?”

I Give Up

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Judging from the vast number of issues plaguing the American public on TLC specials, I’m certain there are individuals living with reverse problems. Oprah should come back from retirement to host an event that reunites The Woman Addicted To Eating Her Couch Cushions with The Lady Afraid To Go Near Her Couch. Now that would be great television.

I would definitely try to be cast on that extravaganza. I’m sure they would leave a spot for The Girl Who Is Deathly Afraid Of Body Piercing And Refuses To Step Foot In A Claire’s Accessories Store In Fear She Will Accidentally Get Pierced Due To Excessive Number of Store Fixtures And A Characteristic Lack Of Browsing Space. I’d volunteer to be paired up with The Girl Who Can’t Stop Getting Random Piercings and gain valuable life lessons.

I’d be a shoe-in for the lamest reality tv persona (a la eHarmony Cat Girl) except I finally DID get my ears pierced.

That’s right. One day in 2009, I decided I needed to just bite the bullet, marched down to mall and got it done. I brought my mom for moral support but the sales associate thought she was there to legalize the procedure.

“You can rent a car but you don’t have your ears pierced?!”

We waited behind a mother getting her 3 month old infant’s ears done, then a 1 year old getting her second hole. Before another mom could get her fetus’s ears bejeweled I hopped up onto that lovely domino square cushion and prepared for the worst.

Mall patrons passed by the glass window as the bumbling sales associate brought the gun to my ear. And before I knew it, I had earrings. The 30 days passed and I could finally switch to larger drop studs, then chandelier options. After a while, it felt like I had always had them.

When I’m getting ready for a night out and sifting through my ever-expanding collection of earrings for a complimentary pair my boyfriend likes to hustle me along to get out of the door on time.  I proclaim “I need them, I’ll feel naked without something in my ears!” He retorts

“How is that possible, you never had them for 21 years and you were just fine!”

And I do feel fine. Everything was going just great….

THEN, SOMEONE BROUGHT CLIP EARRINGS BACK INTO STYLE.

Just when I think I’m getting a handle on things. I officially give up. Can’t even fathom going back to clip ons after I actually did the deed. So here’s my coping method: Rock these fab studs from Furbish Studio and fake it ’til I make it.

Hindsight is 20/20

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Sometimes smart people do dumb things. Or in this case, VERY DUMB things.

Like actually click on one of those pop-up boxes to “Win A FREE IPAD!!!” when it opened up during an Internet browsing session. And believe that since the site included “real” pictures of people in Raleigh, NC (smiling with their new ipads) and my abbreviated personal information it must be legitimate.

Of course I needed to supply a bit more of my personal information and the ipad* would be mine! Nevermind that tiny star(*) at the upper righthand corner of the word ipad! I’m sure they just included the symbol for decoration! What geniuses, adding ornamentation to the overly minimal Apple product signage, even if it was an after-market attempt! Totally normal.

I probably don’t have to tell you I did NOT WIN an Ipad.

In my defense, this lapse in judgement occurred at 4am during finals. I’m writing it off as a learning experience. At least that’s what I plan to tell my father once he discovers the 23 text message services I got signed up for after disclosing my phone number on the internet.

It’s really too bad, I had already decided on a case.

via The Pink Monogram